Elliott Laboratories Genetic Experiment #198: Shrewdness.
Tonight, we completed our study on the hereditary properties of shrewdness in small children. We stumbled upon this breakthrough nearly by accident.
It all became undoubtedly clear when our youngest daughter, Hannah, won this bear at our Church's Annual Chili Cook-Off & Silent Auction.
You have to understand my wife and I don't have a shrewd bone in either of our bodies. We do not like haggling. I avoid auctions like the plague. High-stakes offers make us sweat.
And yet my four-year old proved herself as the Silent Auction Genius for the evening.
She had set her eye on her beloved item the week prior as the items were displayed in the church foyer. She saw this lovely bear and said in her heart, "Oh, yes. It will be mine!"
So upon arriving at the Cook-off tonight, she immediately used her cuteness to get her Grandma Christie to put down the starting bid on Said Bear. She then proceeded to hover about the item for the remainder of the evening, often using her body as a shield to prevent further bids.
And when the a couple of bids did make it through, she got Grandma Christie to outbid them again and then she filled in every other bid line with her trademark "H", just to make sure no further bids could make it in.
So, she got her bear, just like she knew she would. Thus proving her shrewdness and further that these traits obviously aren't hereditary.
That's science at its finest, folks!
40 minutes ago